It is no secret Kait & ko. has been MIA for quite sometime. My last blog post was in October, but truth be told I have been out of the game much longer than that. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve heard my schpeal once before and here it is again.
Last May I wasn’t so confident in Kait & ko. as I had been when I first started in 2016. When I first debuted Kait & ko. I was flaunting a bright red dress. But as time went on, I felt like I had been placing layers and layers of drab grey sweats on hiding the true me in fear of judgement. Even with that camouflage, I still received less than kind feedback from people who I knew and loved. I stood fearful and insecure of what others would truly think of me. Kait & ko. became more of a burden and with each and every blog post I wrote I was falling less and less in love. My blog was truly thriving, but I didn’t feel like myself.
Come November-ish, I received an email notifying me that my domain was going to expire in as little as 60 days. Without my domain, there was absolutely no Kait & ko. At that point I had been praying for several months about which direction I should go: call it quits or put on my big girl panties and keep on keepin’ on. I took something as little as an email and decided that was my sign and Kait & ko. had run its course. More like an excuse if you ask me now.
Literally two days prior to ‘the so-called’ defeat of Kait & ko. I was watching a fellow blogger’s Insta Story. She was being SO goofy. She was trying on her man’s clothes, shaking her bootay, and being hilarious in my oh-so humble opinion. I looked over at K and I said “watch this… this would be me if I wasn’t so shy.” *Face palm.*
You see, there’s an invisible bar set it the so-called blogging world of perfectionism that is truly unattainable, or at least for me. I pride myself in being Type-A and a perfectionist, but as hard as I ever may try my hair will never be thick and volumous, my freckles will always be painting my face, and my home will never be lined with blush pillows and gold hardware (K shot that idea down real quick). I am not poised at all times, I love dancing around and bursting out in song for absolutely no reason. [today’s choice of karaoke: serenading my husband with Don’t Cha by the Pussy Cat Dolls]. I’m obsessed with puns. K despises puns and to me, that makes them 1000% more hilarious. Speaking of K, he compares me to Zooey Deshenel in New Girl. I’m awkward, I’m quirky, and I love me.
My New Years resolution is to worry less about what people think of me. Cheers to stepping out in my little red dress, but one that actually fits me this time.